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Prompt 1o - Roses 
1st-Sep-2007 01:54 pm
For the Casual Writer @ in_vazn

1o. Roses
DBSG (Jaejoong x Changmin)
For yumeyana, just because.

I want to smash loneliness into tiny pieces
-- like a frozen flower --
I'll crush and break it with my own two hands

If the stone that blocks up my heart
Breaks, a red red bud (a rose)
ought to bloom towards the sky...
Just one...

- Stone Roses, Weiz Kreuz Gluhen ED

Jaejoong watches, because he always does, and now, more so than usual.

Ever since that incident, Dong Bang had gone through a lot, grieving, maturing, growing, and changing. Everyone had changed—their actions, the way they carried themselves and most especially, their views on life. Jae knows he’s been through a lot in his own, and though it’s something he doesn’t want to remember, and he knows that each member of Dong Bang has also had his own slice of life handed to him, each with different skeletons in their closets.

…Depite this, he feels that he needs to protect Changmin.

He knows that although being the youngest, Min has gone through his own share of hardships, but it is difficult to keep in mind sometimes, especially now, when he watches as Min goes through this, his first loss of a loved one so close.

Jae observes, and he knows when the heartache just gets too much for the younger man, when the memories pierce into his psyche; he’d asked Min about it before, that pain he describes as a fire in his chest, blooming outwards till it really does hurt and he can’t tell anymore whether it’s emotional, or really physical flames have started in his heart and licked along his veins, and all Jaejoong wants to do is take that fire and extinguish it between his palms, and watch Changmin smile again.

They all have their own ways of coping, of trying to forget, to imagine life as it was before, and it’s all he can do right now to hope that one day, they’ll stop running, and accept this loss together, the four of them holding hands for the one who had run ahead, fast enough to eventually fly out of their reach.

When Changmin dissolves into tears in the recording studio, it’s Jae who’s first at his side, who carries him to the van, who sits by his side till he comes to and smiles that new smile of his, empty and hollow, echoing all the hurt that he couldn’t seem to get out of his soul.

In the shower, it’s Jae who checks up on the young man half-conscious on the cold tiles, cold to the touch under the frigid water that washes off dried tears, and it’s Jae who picks him up and imagines that under all the cold skin, the painful fire still ravages a young inexperienced soul, and it’s Jae who wishes more than anything that Changmin didn’t have to go through this.

Min’s taking this really badly.

Do you think—maybe we made the wrong decision to keep on going?

I think he needs a break. We
all do.

Jaejoong then takes it upon himself to assure them a vacation, a private break somewhere quiet where they could lick their wounds in piece. He sighs and gets off the phone with the manager, shutting his phone with one hand and moving the one that he’d kept on his dongsaeng’s forehead the entire time. He feels the tiredness wash over him like the ocean over sand, moving him, shaving his patience and strength thinner and thinner till he feels the urge to climb in under the blankets and sleep it all away, to wake up with everything back to how it was as before.

But when he opens his eyes, he sees Changmin’s eyelashes fluttering, and it’s all he can do to keep his smile from splitting his head in half at the relief that he’s alright, that he’s here.

There’s something new in his eyes, and Jaejoong can see it sparkling there, small and glimmering hope and a new beginning for all of them. At that point, Jae knew that everything was going to be okay. They would make it.

Sorry for worrying you guys. Now, Changmin smiles, and Jae watches how this time, it spreads into him, his eyes, his face, his spirit, What was that I heard about a vacation?

*waves Jaemin flag* Fweeeehehehehe☆
1st-Sep-2007 06:10 am (UTC)
But... who died? What's going on? I need to re-read all these all over again. XD

I like how they all tie in together, though. <3333
1st-Sep-2007 06:18 am (UTC)
Bwahahahaha, as far as I know, it's just DBSG minus one. I don't really dare want to say if it's anyone, 'cause I really want to write the points of view of everyone should DongBang become a four-man group.

>>;; Why does everyone think someone has died? xDDDDD Then again, why does the idea come across so clearly? xDDD

Waaah, I'm so sorry for the vagueness of it all m(u_u)m I really really need to improve on my writing... >_<

Hahahaha, I guess it's just a weird universe where there's only four of them from five povs? But thanks so much♥♥♥

I'm so energized to write again now--!!! >u<b
1st-Sep-2007 06:28 am (UTC)
Hahaha... XD Well this: his first loss of a loved one so close, made me think "Death". And you know, Changmin being so upset and collapsing and all that stuff.

I mean, I'd be upset if my BFF moved away, but I wouldn't be THAT torn. Hmm. I dunno. LOL.

Tell me nowwwwwwwww. XD
1st-Sep-2007 10:18 am (UTC)

I wouldn't know ^^;; *zomgantisocialpsychooo* But I guess that's true hahahahah xDD

Hm... Should I tweak it to make it more vague? :3

They take turns dying! *SHOT*
1st-Sep-2007 06:14 am (UTC)
poor min ;_;
1st-Sep-2007 10:19 am (UTC)
the more we hurt, the more we love~

it's my way of showing who my favourite is. xD

*gunned down by min fangirls*
1st-Sep-2007 08:26 am (UTC)

ah, ma-chan. jaemin. sooo good. :D
your writing style is wonderful, honey. so don't worry. :D (my writing style's weird, really. xD)

and all Jaejoong wants to do is take that fire and extinguish it between his palms, and watch Changmin smile again.
♥ i want to fly to s'pore and tackle you right now!! xD
2nd-Sep-2007 03:18 am (UTC)


*thwap* What weird?? Ang ganda nga basahin e~~ Malinis, at alam mo talaga kung anong nangyayari♥

*tackled, anyway* <333
1st-Sep-2007 11:11 am (UTC)
i didn't want to know who died really. ^^ though i think it's yunho cause i didn't want to see yoosu broken up which i think is selfish of me. hehe. but my heart broke to see changmin being so weak and so emotionally unstable because of this. aah, good old angst! >_
2nd-Sep-2007 03:21 am (UTC)
I want to write angst that makes people happy~~~


2nd-Sep-2007 03:23 am (UTC)
don't worry, angst always make me happy. ^^
1st-Sep-2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
iunno. i was getting the feeling that it was jae who died ><
But then from this little chappie makes me think otherwise, esp the end, where he CALLS the managers. I thought he was watching over Min as a spirit or something. And the Jaeho part - made me totally believe it was Jae because their conversation was entirely in italics. Plus, whenever you write Jae's character, it seems a bit distant. >< i'm so confused lol. I've been reading the chappies over and over trying to figure this out.

For a while, i thought it was that Jae completely detached himself from the band but everyone's suffering a bit too much for him to just have left.

i REALLY love this little mini-series thing that you have here :) it's really awesome. you should write more! lol.


PS - I'm completely convinced it's Jae and i'm trying to figure out how he called the managers lol.
2nd-Sep-2007 03:27 am (UTC)
Ah. I can't seem to write Jae properly... u_u *fail* He always comes across so distant, hm. I guess he does come across as really separated from everyone in this. :3


Thank you so much!!! That's really making me want to write some more ~~♥

Not only that, he manages to bake cake and make breakfast :DDD

Jae's supaaa psychic. He haunts his managers through white noise in the phone.
Jae: *frizzfrizz* GIVE. *staticstatic* VACATION!! *frizzcrackledeadline*
Manager: oO;;; *starts cancelling schedules*

2nd-Sep-2007 03:46 am (UTC)
Wait, so you're saying that Jae didn't die?!??!

Lmaoooo. your PPS made me crack up like hell XDDDDD. I watched white noise. Let me just say, I'm not a fan of horror movies. I get too interested by trailers and during the movie but then I freak myself out afterwards. >< But seriously, I can imagine Jae taking care of the others while in his grave XDD. He'll dig out of the ground and bake cake and make breakfast at like 3 AM and leave before the others wake up/come back from work.

Iunno, and then I thought it was like Yoochun but then he did a couple of non-dead things >< And it couldn't be Junsu or Yunho because they were all lovey dovey and talking about the one that passed away.

Psh. i think you're just trying to trick us all with your summary!!!!!!!!!!! you're driving me crazy trying to figure out who died.

So it's minnie?!??!?! AHHHH!!! >runs around screaming her head off< i'm so confused!!!! did he get sick from pushing himself too hard and then died?

But then!!! he watches as Min goes through this, his first loss of a loved one so close.

Grawrrr! it's yoochun?!?!??!?!?! (sorry for the jumpiness, i'm skipping around all the chappies while writing this)

Me: *reads chappie 19354538583 and reemerges* IT'S _________!!!!!! (only if T.T)

At one point, i thought it was Changmin that died, and he was being all emo and depressed because he didn't know he died and when he realized it, he went all Nicole Kidman on himself. (lol, the others)

Psh. Are you messing with my head? Are you changing the dead person each chappie? XP You can probably tell I'm going crazy over this >< Watch me try to figure this out in church tomorrow morning.

2nd-Sep-2007 03:48 am (UTC)
Psh. I just read your reply to the comment under mine >< So you DOOO rotate the dead one ><

I still ♥ you :)) <--- double chin action!!!!


I get a little hyper at night :))
2nd-Sep-2007 01:18 am (UTC)
WAIT, now i'm confused. are these stories ongoing or separate?
i kept thinking it was jaejae who died D:

<3 tiffo
2nd-Sep-2007 03:30 am (UTC)
Ah, you too?? *hugs Jae*

They're... kind-of ongoing... More like in a same situation where one of DongBang isn't there anymore, but since I didn't want to tempt fate single out any one character, and each of them have their reactions explored, they kinda take turns...

I never really mention anyone's name ^^;


2nd-Sep-2007 08:23 am (UTC)

when i saw my name up there, my eyes watered and i almost cried. when i read the whole piece, i bit my lip because i couldn't cry without my parents asking what the hell i'm doing in front of the computer. ma-chan, thank you. you make me want to write again, the way i did back in school. perhaps i could write in the back of notebook again. then perhaps, i'd be happy again. thank you, dear.

i need to stop my tears, really. they're trying to fall. ^^
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